Happily ever after isn’t always so happy.

For many couples, the years following their wedding are filled with ups and downs. And for some, the hard times can be enough to destroy their marriage.

Divorce is common but not inevitable. In fact, there are several divorce prevention strategies you and your spouse can use to strengthen your marriage.

Use this brief guide to repair your relationship.

Revisit Your Vows

Start by thinking back to the vows you made when you first got married. And if you didn’t create any, imagine what your vision of an ideal, lovely couple is.

Now, home in on your part. Are you still following your own promises? Are you showing up the way you want to in your marriage? What role do you play in the conflict you’re experiencing?

Take responsibility for your part, and start working towards being the kind of partner you want to be.

Learn Active Listening Skills

If you’re like many partners in tarnished marriages, you have a lot to say during arguments. But one of the best tips for avoiding divorce is to get better at listening.

Take a break from defending and explaining yourself, and listen to your spouse. Take turns giving each other a chance to speak, and when listening, follow these steps:

1. Pay attention to the speaker
2. Refrain from interrupting
3. Summarize what the speaker said, in your own words, to confirm understanding
4. Validate their point of view
5. Ask nonjudgmental follow-up questions

Active listening doesn’t come naturally for most married couples, but it can make all the difference when facing problems together.

Show Appreciation

It can be hard to see the positives when your marriage is on the rocks. But all relationships have some strengths. And in order to avoid divorce, you must be able to recognize them.

Start noticing and appreciating the good. If your partner helps you around the house or buys your favorite food for dinner, appreciate it.

And don’t just keep your appreciation to yourself; share it with them! Let them know you appreciate their efforts to keep your marriage going.

Take Time for Yourself

For many couples, especially those with codependent tendencies, time apart can be exactly what you need to strengthen your marriage.

That’s because, when you work on yourself as an individual (and your partner does the same), you can be a better version of yourself when you’re together.

If you find that you depend on each other too much, or you’ve lost yourself in your marriage, take some time away from each other. Socialize with friends, dabble in new hobbies, read books, and learn about yourself and your needs.

Then, bring these new lessons and experiences back to your marriage.

See a Marriage Counselor

It’s okay if you can’t repair your marriage on your own.

Many couples will need help from a therapist or counselor who can offer a balanced point of view. The best marriage counselor is one who is trained to work with couples and offers the type of therapy you and your partner prefer.

Learn more about the benefits of seeing a marriage counselor here.

Divorce Prevention Tips You Can Use Today

With these divorce prevention strategies, you and your spouse can start repairing and saving your marriage today.

And when you need some extra help, remember a marriage counselor is trained to work with couples just like you.

For more on self-improvement and relationship advice, read our other lifestyle articles!